Sunday, November 28, 2010

If you see my kids doing something they shouldn't...

A spiritual thought for Sunday

I had a great experience at church today.

The Relief Society lesson was on "Courageous Parenting". (Love that talk btw.)

At the beginning of the lesson, the teacher said something like "Now not all of you are parents, but you all have parents, so that's where some of you fit in to this lesson." I couldn't help feeling she was leaving something out.

I got all antsy and fidgeting, and felt something welling up inside. I had to say what I was thinking. I didn't want to intrude or interrupt, I tried to wait for an organic space to put up my hand. There were lots and lots of other comments. I started feeling anxious, my ears were hot.

Finally I put up my hand.

"I've been thinking something all through the lesson. You mentioned those that don't have children earlier in the lesson...? A way that I would hope they engage with this lesson is that... As parents we all need help. Our kids need to see other adults living the same standards that we are, and have other adults telling them what's right and wrong as well as us. If you see one of our kids doing something they shouldn't, please tell them! Please help them live the standards that you would want your own to."

With that out, my ears stopped burning, my hands stopped fidgeting, my heart stopped pounding and my stomach settled down. That is what I consider the Holy Ghost telling me to speak up, and then giving me peace after being obedient to that urging.

A few other people agreed and elaborated on this thought.

I like to imagine that there was someone in that room who will tell off one of my kids one day/advise them to make a good choice/stop them from making a really bad choice later down the line. Maybe it won't happen until they're teenagers, but that person might think back to me making that comment and then realise that, "Actually, I should say something to (insert name here) because they're about to make a mistake that they'll regret later. And their mother would want me to."

Afterwards I realised that not everyone likes having others "correct" their children.

But I absolutely would like that.


  1. This is a great post. That comment would really have irked me...the opening one. And not just because we spent 7 years without children...but because we have a LOT of sisters in our congretation who have never married. I KNOW they sit there and fume some days when they are sidelined. Shelfing them as "having parents" (and that's it) isn't enough to feel validated, in my opinion. It's just not. I would much rather hear your angle, or that they will all ONE DAY be parents, and that they may have observations and insights about parenting for parents...even though they don't have children of their own. Lots of things...but not what was said. Ooooooeeeeck.

  2. Yep totally agree.

    I dont have any issues pulling up other people's kids however I only pull them up on stuff that I know the parents are ok with: after all they are the ones who decide the rules =)

  3. I think there's big difference on helping other's children make correct choice according to gospel living, and then just correcting them for something simple, like throwing rocks, or getting dirty. If the other kids' parents are in the vacinity, there is no cause for another parent to jump in. However, I fully agree with the first situation. (That seems a little convoluted. Hope it made sense.)

  4. Thanks from a non-parent who has 40-something primary kids she has to try to teach each Sunday. This is actually one of the things that gives me the most comfort about not having any kids of my own - that I can set a good example for and help teach the kids around around me. Comments like that opening one make me want to check out the Catholics, until I remember that every church probably has people who say dumb things.

  5. I totally agree with all of you. It feels nice to be validated and among like minds.