The other night I went to a friend's place with my sister Erika. She dropped me off home at about 10:30pm. Time for bed.
At 11pm there was a knock at the door. I had taken my contact lenses out and my glasses were broken (since fixed!), so I was going downstairs half blind (first mistake).
I looked through the dirty peep hole, poorly situated beneath the door knob. I couldn't see anyone (big surprise). With the chain secure, I answered the door. I still couldn't see anyone. This is what happened next.
"Mmmfhrumphumph." (low rumbling)
*murmur, murmur* *cackle* (definitely male)
"You're love." (in a 'bro' accent)
"You're love!" *guffaw*
"Why are you knocking on my door?"
"Because I love you!"
I shut the door.
I ran upstairs.
I shook my true love awake and said something like:
"Someone just knocked on the door. I couldn't see them. They said they were my love. They sounded dodgy. I think they might steal the scooter. Can you check out the window? because I can't see a thing."
After spending a few minutes deciphering what in the world was going on (being woken in the night in an odd way is never a comprehensible experience) Nat peeped out the curtains. But whoever that was could have been anywhere by then. Nat couldn't see anyone.
For the next hour and a half I lay awake listening for the criminals I was sure were about to storm our home. Every time I heard the scooter cover moving I would go and check the window. It was a windy night. I was at the window a lot.
At midnight a road work crew beeped their way down the street to mark the newly resurfaced road. Of all things that's what made me feel a bit more at ease.
Anyway. I've decided that knocking on someone's door late at night to play a trick, any sort of trick, is not. cool. There are other factors in my life that cause me to lose enough sleep. So no thanks.